


The Valentine’s Day From UNCLE

by sparky955



Category: The Man From U.N.C.L.E. (TV)
Genre: F/M, M/M, Valentine's Day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-14
Updated: 2018-02-14
Packaged: 2019-03-18 00:54:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13670895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sparky955/pseuds/sparky955
Summary: For Spikesgirl_58 as her gift in the MFU Scrapbook Valentine’s Day challenge on Live Journal





	The Valentine’s Day From UNCLE

It has been my pleasure to celebrate many a Valentine’s Day in bed. It has been my honor and privilege to enjoy the day...and the afternoon…and the evening…and sometimes the morning after…in bed with many a lovely lady. I have probably spent, over the years, the gross national product of a small nation in selecting Valentine’s candy and cards appropriate for the ladies in my life. It would be reasonable to admit that I, Napoleon Solo, have done more to support the greeting card and chocolate making industry during the pre-Valentine’s Day season than any other adult in this hemisphere.

It’s been a hard job, but somebody had to do it.

However.

As much sybaritic pleasure that I’ve had thanks to the commemoration of Valentine’s Day, it all falls flat when compared to the simple _rightness_ of being next to my partner, Illya Kuryakin, on any day of any year.

I never thought I would feel the quiet completion of the empty parts of my soul again. I met Katie on the first day of first grade and knew that from day, to the amusement of all of the adults in my life, that I would marry her. We grew together like grape vines in a vineyard and on our wedding day, I expected a lifetime of joy with her.

Nineteen doesn’t believe that death can happen at nineteen. Nineteen is too damned early to have your heart ripped out and shredded in one rainy evening. Nineteen is too young want to scream that you want them to bury you next to her right now because you know, without fail, that you will never love or be that loved ever again and that you will walk in darkness for the rest of your life.

So, I excelled for the next few years in superficial. I dated faster than Cupid on pep pills. I became the master of dating and screwing in a most gentlemanly manner. My penis was going to wear out, but I was determined that if I kept running I could live with the emptiness. It was about as satisfying as a diet of nothing but cotton candy, but for a few hours…for a few moments…it kept the dark away. And, modestly, I admit it gave some very nice young ladies…and some not-so-nice young ladies…memories of pleasant dates. But, no one was ever going to touch my heart again because I couldn’t handle the thought of losing another as I had lost Katie.

In time, UNCLE happened. While I acknowledged the moral and professional satisfaction in fighting on the side of right, there was still an emptiness inside of me that no amount of dating and screwing could fill. Okay, at the second of orgasm, the emptiness might not be noticeable. But, sex without love is, well, just more of the cotton candy diet and the emptiness would return too damned fast.

Into my third year with The Command, everything changed. Because, into my third year, Illya Nickovitch Kuryakin walked into my life and at that exact moment, I felt all the emptiness and all the darkness begin to fade, just a little. It was like meeting Katie on the first day of first grade all over again. Waverly introduced us, we shook hands and I swear to God, when I looked into his eyes, all I could think was _I’m going to marry this man_. He smiled at me, and then all I could think was  _I want to screw this man through the floor into the sub-basement right now._

It took about fifteen minutes, most of which I spent in the head trying to get my penis to come down from DEFCON One, for my intellect to register the potential difficulties of falling in love with Illya would present. As UNCLE agents, all of us had to develop a sexual acceptance about a mile wide because if it took some THRUSH sticking his penis in my ass in order for me to find the schematics he had for a small nuclear bomb, well, the fate of the world was worth learning to bat for both teams. Besides, I learned it was actually easier to subdue and knock out a post-coital goon. Professional sodomy aside, this wasn’t a quick roll in the hay…or through the flooring…that I was thinking about. My brain was proclaiming, quite calmly but decisively that I would, one day, marry Illya. As I took deep breaths and thought of days at Cutter’s Hotel on Survival School island in an effort to stand down my libido, I knew I would need to learn to live a private life of secrecy as totally comprehensive and uncompromising as I did in my professional life. Although every cell in my body knew it was right and and proper and essential, to most of the world it would be perversion to live with Illya as my love.

Of course, there would be the small matter of convincing him about the same thing. However, twenty-nine believed that with enough hard work and perseverance, anything could, no, would be possible. After too many years of living without a soul, twenty-nine believed that a second chance for the miraculous rebirth of a soul and a heart, had been granted through the intervention of an eighteen year old angel named Katie.

Skipping forward a few hundred affairs and trips around the world and exploded satraps and injured body parts later, Valentine’s Day found me again celebrating. Not with chocolates or flowers or even a card. The day found me celebrating because I was sitting in a god-forsaken and very well used pig pen, waiting for an extraction, stinking beyond high heaven, with my partner, my best friend, my lover, my Illya at the conclusion of a successful mission. With him I had found contentment if the end of the day found him safe, perhaps stinky for the moment but smiling, by my side. Somehow, maybe through Katie’s intervention again, I had earned his professional respect and trust along with his friendship that grew into his enduring love. We each knew that in the performance of our profession, our lives might be given or that one of us might be forced to allow the other to die to ensure the safety of others. We accepted that with the hope of a long life and future together. And truly, when you are with the one you love, and you are loved in return, every day is Valentine’s Day.

 

 

 

 

 

 


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